It was just him, the three of us and his butler and chef. I wanted to be glamorous and beautiful and dress well and have lots of dates. There were humbling moments. The newfound male attention I received felt exhilarating. In my heart, I was finished trying to be Carrie. I wanted to be like Carrie and her friends: I was trying so hard to be liked that it was coming across as inauthentic and bitchy. In the moment it feels good to eat it, but afterward, you feel sick. The show was my road map.
I was also celibate during my time there. The designer shoes and bags are in storage. I was devastated when Gawker tore me apart on a regular basis. Two months ago, I started seeing someone I never would have dated 10 years earlier. And I was happy to be given that identity for a while, but it was all a lie. The show was my road map. These days I work as a change activist, mounting summits for world leaders and serving as an adviser to startups and entrepreneurs looking to better the planet. Sure, I could have been a dating columnist for the rest of my life but, honestly, I gave really bad dating advice — and so did Carrie Bradshaw. I envisioned nonstop brunching and shopping. I finally had to lock myself in the bathroom. I went out with a prince: He was one of a few men who comprised the composite character Mr. I grew up a nerd in Chicago, more likely to duck into the library than talk to other kids at recess. He sent us back on JetBlue. Producers sent me to a mind architect, a love coach and a witch in the pursuit of love. It had such an outsize influence on me that — even with a very expensive degree in government — I said to myself: But it came too late: I wanted to be like Carrie and her friends: I was a public figure who was regularly photographed alongside such famous faces as Henry Kissinger and Richard Branson. It was just ugly. In the moment it feels good to eat it, but afterward, you feel sick. Solid relationships are what really matter. Then, in , one of my pilots was finally picked up by Bravo. I rarely post on Instagram. There was no such thing as a bad date — only a good date or a good brunch story. I needed a break.
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